Nawari Koans: The Wumenguan as interpreted by Robert J. Fitzwater
illustrations by James Stanford

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From the Forward:

For thirty-eight years I’ve consumed wives, lovers, and friends pursuing the hound of heaven. From the hills of Clay County, down the streets of Baltimore, over the sands of the Carolinas, in beaches,bars, beds and bedrolls, and classrooms, on desert drives and tequila sunrises on Black Mountain,all have allowed what nothing was not preventing.

Being a Zen fool has been my love, my passion,
and still I turn over rocks looking for what?
Now in my walled enclosure in Arabia
I’ve imprisoned the fool again.
It’s not as though I’m the first, nor the last,
to look at the window rather than through it.
There’s just no one left to push the boulder
to the top of the hill.

So this writing is a gesture of appreciation to those that have loved me despite my obsession.
It is for the next soldier or Marine disciplined in the way.
To the next anthropologist who wants to understand,
to the dirt archaeologist who digs holes just to get back fill.

There is no need to leave home. No place to go.

TAT TVAM ASI
Robert J. Fitzwater
Jubail, Saudi Arabia
1995